Stupid food trends that are past their expiration date
There is no food industry loves more than a new direction, each one providing an abundance of new recipes, restaurants, chefs, and opinions placed on the pages of magazines and in the mouths of the critics. Although some trends lead us to broaden our minds and tastes, while others just lead us to the abyss like a lot of the obsession with rodents. Here are some of the worst food trends that we’re happy to cram in to get rid of them.
The authority is not particularly interesting, but at least it’s honest. Jell-O salad however is definitely “interesting”, but there is not an honest bone in your body—you can tell by how wobbly. A serious contender for the biggest crime in cooking, gel salad starts to jell, and then go wherever the maker wants it too, that milk, milk, Salad Cream (a UK staple), may, sometimes vegetables, or all of the above if you really feel crazy. Jell-O salad was born in the 1950s and maybe you should stay there, but it is still occasionally seen in the Midwest Book and barbecues, where the ’50s never goes out of fashion.
If you are not satisfied unless your food comes in with third degree burns to your mouth and then fondue is for you. Usually coupled with bad fashions in the 1960s magazine covers, fondue is a strange communal ritual of taking random blocks of whatever takes your fancy and dipping in a bowl with the melted cheese using a fork. Since the front is kept molten by placing a candle underneath the pot, it comes out hot enough to make the devil proud. Then you are left with the option contract until it has cooled while dripping melted cheese on the table yourself, or put it directly in your mouth and not taste anything ever again. For some reason this sadist weather favorite of dinner parties—because nothing says fun like a meal that extend dignity faster than reality TV.
Food, NASA sends into space designed to address the challenges of space travel, and restrictions on weight and space. This means that it is often freeze dried or processed heavily to achieve the maximum calories for the minimum of anything else. While it is true that space food is the forefront of something, that something non-stick cooking. Which makes you wonder why people were so keen to eat these things. It’s almost as if the space food is a step on the way to the magical future of food pills. Unfortunately, that future might include soylent green. In fact, the whole space of fad food was perhaps the secret of the effort by NASA to take off the shine of being an astronaut. She must have been successful, because they did not trouble themselves to release the NASA brand of calcium-enriched bottled water from actual astronauts.
The origin of the cupcake seems to have been the link to do away with the pots and plates by creating a single-serving cake that can be held in your hands. Unfortunately it went from being an innocent little treat at a child’s birthday and turned into a giant mutated pop culture conquering food contact. Cakes are the Godzilla of food. The success of the cake is probably to a mixture of celebrity attention to the childlike allure of bright colors and lots of sugar. And although the food “experts” have declared the cupcake trend is dead, it stumbles along like a zombie horde: heedless unhealthy and wearing excessive makeup.
Table side service
Another addition to the “Not Dead but should be” list of table side service is perfect for anyone who wants to talk history as little as possible. Side table service gives you the opportunity to achieve that ‘sound while the waiter fills your wine glass in the extension of the feature of the meal. As if watching the pills mixed up or your steak being fried to add anything to the meal except the cost. Most people go to dinner to get away from the chores of cooking and to focus on the company, hopefully with the phenomenon of the server that knows when to add. But for any food that comes with table side Service and you are turning what should be an invisible luxury to this guy on the bus who speaks to you when you’re obviously trying to read a book.
The Paleo diet definitely doesn’t exist anymore, because it stopped something 10,000 years ago at the end of the Stone Age. And the thing about the Paleolithic diet is that it is not a diet in the modern sense of the health food and weight loss, but in the sense of “there’s nothing else to eat.” Anyone who chooses to go paleo in the 21st century is either a gullible victim of food aid sales pitch, or a severe romantic fantasist—because anyone requires to hunters examples of a healthy lifestyle obviously didn’t get to the part where they all die in their thirties.
If the Superman Super-Man in a way that kale is a “super food” they all had powers, but you look like The Elephant Man with a bad case of halitosis. Kale may contain more vitamins and minerals than average vegetables, but in order to get it you must actually eat it as a problem. And it’s not like you can just throw in anything to add bulk such as carrots or zucchini, because along with all those vitamins comes “flavor”. It’s a bit like the anti-king, making anything added to the gold just a little bit worse.
When October rolls around each year, it brings a bunch of pumpkin flavored trash they picked up in the road. And every year we hope it’s the last time that he does. As if Americans are in love with Halloween that they will buy anything even with a negative connection to it: pumpkin-spiced lattes, pumpkin-spiced beer, pumpkin-spiced Donuts…the list goes on. Popsugar found 124 different pumpkin spiced food to try out in 2015, every one of them was probably fine before pumpkin came along. It’s almost like the food industry is that concerned relative who sees you looking at the statue through the eyes of the German, after he thought your looks disturbed amusement in order to on buy you one every year on your birthday. The list of pumpkin flavored foods that you should begin the actual pumpkin with the end of the pumpkin pie, no more and no less.